Monthly Archives: September 2008

a moment

I have soooooooooooo much to say, that it’ll tire my poor little finger muscles to type them, so I will sum up: (heavy sigh) …of relief? of tension? of release? who knows… just feel the deplete energy as I let out a very deep, very long, heavy sigh

[and i’m going to be just fine… that’s still the drumbeat pounding inside]

thank you for visiting, love your company… and, um, be well, consider yourself hugged, and I look forward to a more thorough visit very soon.
love, rain.


Hi there – seems like everyone has been blogging within the last 36 hours…(have you seen the long list??!) and, since I like to follow the crowd and do what they’re doing, here is my most current post:

I got some bad news from the doctor today – ended up leaving work and going home. After some research, I realize it’s not unbad, however it is common, and there are lots of ways to deal with it. So… hopefully things will work themselves out and I’ll be just fine in the end. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster of a day, though. My head hurts.

In other news, I have a question about Firefox… a dear friend suggested using shift + delete to do this, but it didn’t permanently work: In the drop down menu in the address bar, there is a list of the most recent sites/most frequently visited sites I go to. The Wibsite/Wibblethrope/Admin are three of them. I’d like to be able to remove these addresses/links (to protect the location/identity of this blog, actually) before other people use my computer. Is there a way to accomplish this? I’ve tried changing the history, clearing private data, etc. When I used Delete or Shift + Delete it’ll remove the address immediately, but when I click on the drop down menu again it reappears… suggestions??! Thank you!

I know we’ve had various discussions about privacy and names and pseudonyms and being private in a very public forum… and, well, for right now I want to keep this community to myself – and not feel I need to censor my self or my thoughts any more than I already do… does that make sense? To be a safe place to come when I’m ready, able, and willing…

Things continue to go well with my person… he has referred to me as his ‘girlfriend’ on several occasions… which makes my insides fludder (in a good way). But yet I continually describe him as someone I care about/am spending time with/enjoy the company of, etc. and have yet to call him the “b” word. Not sure why, other than it’s been a long time… maybe with some additional time it’ll be much easier to more accurately refer to him as someone who’s becoming more and more dear to me. Will keep you posted. And just for the record, I’m really happy.

Am excited about the upcoming sermon series at church, entitled “Doubting Your Doubts” based on the book by Tim Keller. Should be intellectually stimulating, challenging, and affirming among other things – will keep you posted as things strike me there, too.

Am saying ‘No’ to people and things, too, which is great – very liberating, this “can’t please everyone all of the time so stop trying” thing.

Please stop by and say hello… there’s some tea brewing and some biscuits in the oven – look forward to seeing you soon! :)

Hi hi – haven’t been able to find the poster/print (see below) but *promise* to share once I do finally locate it :)

Things are continuing to go well in job/family/personal life… so we shall see. I haven’t been posting much recently – a lot more of my free time has filled up quite a bit recently… not that I’m complaining – it’s just an adjustment to something new and hopefully wonderful…but definitely something new to get used to.

My father’s health continues to decline… he’s suffering so much. He finally came home after a very long stint in the hospital, only to return less than a week later due to additional complications. It's really hard to support them, especially my mother, with so many miles between us. I do what I can …and try to pray when I can… but prayer is a challenge for me – which reminds me:
I actually met with a Christian counselor recently – I sought out his services for a referral to someone… and he wanted to have a ‘get to know you’ type of session. It was really good, effective, and I will consider whether or not to follow up with the 2 counselors he recommended. I made an appointment with my regular counselor, so I'll be able to see her in a few weeks. The thought of starting out with a new counselor is somewhat daunting – my old one knows my history and we can focus on the here & now… so, well, donno – I'll keep you posted.

we’ve had a great deal of rain recently, so my basement got a wee bit damp… including a small steady stream flowing from the corner of the house to the drain in the floor on the other side of the basement. Needless to say I feel a bit sick about it all… but a friend recommended installing a drain outside (under the driveway) and then we could seal the concrete walls… and THEN I can paint & install new carpeting. But first things first. A bit daunting, but totally doable in small steps & stages.

The nice thing about everything though… is that there’s hope that I might not be alone anymore. Truly! But I'm trying not to be too optimistic… or plan too far into the future (so far I can handle about 4 – 5 days in advance re: scheduling). But am working *very* hard to be breezy… and just roll with it during the moment instead of engineering something that isn’t there… and the nicest thing about it is that it feels so familiar and comfortable and, well, good. Something else came to me recently too: no matter what happens – if we continue to walk together, or if our paths part in the near/distant future… I’m going to be just fine. It’s as though someone – perhaps G-D? is saying “Mary, you will be just fine – whatever happens, you will be just fine” … so…well…we shall see.

excuse me – may I please have your help?

Hi there – there’s quite a bit to catch up on, so I will sum up:
things are going well. These things include job, family, and personal life. The future is looking good too. And I’m thrilled.

In other news, I need your help! I saw a print/poster about 15 years ago, which I loved… please tell me if it sounds familiar, because I’ve been doing searches out the wazoo, and can’t find it!

It was an image of a stone gargoyle (or something medieval like that) reaching out to touch a bubble… and I think his/its hand was starting to turn human or into something more life-like. I remember feeling hopeful, child-like innocence, and, well, it touched my heart.

Any suggestions on the artist/name of piece/potential links? I thought someone in this community might have knowledge of gargoyles :)

hope you’re doing well – consider yourself hugged,