Monthly Archives: January 2009


Realized a few days ago that I’ve been participating in more verbal banter, that things look a bit brighter and slightly more optimistic… and that I’ve been singing more (in the car/shower/by myself). During work today, I met with a new student, we had a fantastic therapy session, and I found it both energizing and fun. Which helped me realize that the heavy cloud, from under which I’ve been operating over the past few months, has lifted. I’m lighter, my head isn’t fuzzy, and I’m starting to feel a bit more creative… lesson planning is not incredibly difficult nor emotionally draining… boundaries are easier to identify and keep, and…well… I’m more present. I realized, too, that traditionally simple tasks were daunting… and now I don’t even notice doing them. It’s validating to know that even if I made a poor choice about who to spend time with in the past, after I rid that person from my life, I’m able to come back a bit wiser and mostly unscathed. I’m enjoying breathing deeply with a lighter head and a freer spirit…and, well, just wanted to share the light news.
take care of you.


This past summer, I went through an intense ordeal having some work done on my house… thought I was helping someone out by offering the job, yet lots of hiccups ensued and it was a very stressful situation for me… I then realized I would have paid three times the set amount to have it done quickly and seamlessly. Which brings me to my current conundrum. I’m remodeling the kitchen (new stove, counters, cabinets, and a dishwasher machine where there was never one before… there has been no dishwasher since I moved in, which will involve plumbing & electric). Unfortunately, my electrical box in the basement has no more room in it (fuze system) and I’m going to have to upgrade my electric pannel before moving forward with the project… which means scheduling with an electrician this week around my work schedule… So the project, at one point, was a very grand thing… and now, as I’ve calculated costs, it’s a much more simple and basic adventure. The trouble is: do I move forward with a store’s contractor who is quoting me a significant amount of labor costs… or do I miss the 20% off cabinets sale and try to find a handyman person who does this for a living & knows what he’s doing and have the job accomplished for fewer $? I anticipate the problem with waiting and finding someone new includes 1) who will I find 2) how will I find them 3) how long will it take them 4) how long can I afford to have my kitchen torn apart and upset my life? Perhaps I should learn from my past experience, that I’d rather pay a little more $ and have something done with little drama than to save on installation costs and have things blow up in my face. Perhaps I should just move forward – is it common for installation to be much more expensive than the cabinets themselves? That seems funny to me, especially since I’m not having the workmen haul the old cabinets or stove away – I’ll keep the cabinets for storage in the basement, and hope to give the stove to someone who needs it. Ah, well, this is what’s occupying my mind at the moment… I think it’s time to call the lady at the hardware store and tell her to go ahead and schedule the contractor-person. We’ll see if it all works out… who knows, buy March I could have a new kitchen! Or perhaps not.

earlier today, a little before now…

I was thinking I should post something in ’09, so here it is: Hello, hello… and a very happy new year to all of us, every one.

Thought I’d change the face on here a bit – to be all festive for 2009. Remember how we used to say the years… nineteen-eighty-seven? Well, I’m starting to say twenty-oh-nine.. because next year we can start to say twenty-ten, and then it starts – twenty-eleven, twenty-forty-five… the four digit year into two segments… remember when we switched to two-thousand? Y2K? Thankfully we’ve all survived, no horrific un-fixable things happened with technology…most glitches were fixed… and I’m already looking forward to twenty-ten just because I am : )

I’ve been reading a wee bit…but I’ve been absent mostly because I haven’t had much to say, and couldn’t be persuaded to say it. Or, rather, I’ve had so much to say it’s probably best to sum up… here it is: thank goodness for a break from work, and a fresh start with a brand new year (although it doesn’t impact me much changing years in the middle of winter – as the years are passing much more quickly now, as seasons instead of days/weeks… all of the sudden it’s going to be the middle of spring again, then summer, then quickly into autumn…then winter again with holidays and giving presents and planning ahead for the next year… making To Do lists and hope to cross some big and some smaller projects off… then it’s the middle of spring, some reevaluation happens, I wonder where the time has gone as it’s flown by… and it’s summer then fall once again. Sometimes thinking a great deal (about both big and small things) makes me tired…

My parents just left – we had a lovely visit, complete with laughter, wee bits of drama, nieces’ giggles on Christmas morning as they first saw what Santa brought, rich food & culinary delights, family, home improvement projects galore, (including plans for a new kitchen – yikes!), the making of myriad lists, putting-away-of-holiday-gear, meeting new people, and quiet down time… that last one is something I’ve been enjoying most of the past two days – tomorrow (Sunday) is my last day to myself before heading back to work, and while I’m not completely ready to return, I realize it’ll be good for me to get back to my professional life. I think this is the first holiday in a long time with which I have not traveled 1/2 way across the country …it’s rather nice to have stayed home.

My head and heart are recovering and recouping energy lost in the past few months…and I’m happy to know both heart & head are on the mend, which is a huge blessing. Time does heal, as does moving forward and focusing on future goals in lieu of focusing on the past. An interesting thing to note is that I’m realizing there’s anger just under the surface, and I’m working on that…there’s a debate: bring it out & deal with it, sweep it under the rug, or push it down deep? I am starting to accept that sometimes anger is ugly, but than again, so is what it does to me inside… some of it is recent, while other reasons for anger have a bit more history – so, basically, I’m still a work in progress. But aren’t we all?

I’m going to try to blog more frequently – no, it’s not a new year’s resolution… but a goal – perhaps I should stop feeling so self-conscious and just start writing… that’s a very good place to start. I’ll let you be the judge of whether it’s substantial enough to spend time reading. Ah! there we go – I’ll put the burden on you the reader… perhaps my stats (are they working?) will keep me posted on the quality of this little rainy portion of the world wide web.
Thank you, the entire wibsite community – you’ve been such a blessing over the past two years.
Be well, consider yourself hugged, and…see you again soon : )