have you ever stepped out of your comfort zone?
have been feeling under the weather recently… this is my 2nd day off from work, have accomplished nothing except moving in slow motion and doing mundane tasks with increasingly great effort.
In lieu of being crabby or feeling down, I thought “I know! I’ll make a happy list! Perhaps this will be the beginning of a new blog entry…”
- good friends
- cellular phone service
- a working car
- fresh water
- hepa vacuum
- electricity, for that matter
- comphy bed upon which to lay my head
- poetry, spontaneous and otherwise
- Home Goods store (as i have decided to buy 1 or 2 plates of patterns i like…and fill my kitchen with an eclectic beautiful set of dishes when the ******* kitchen is complete)
- cranberry juice: while flavorful, it is not citrus based, therefore does not interfere with medications, while being highly hydrating.
- the public library
The kitchen project is still underway. It has take sooooooooo much longer than originally planned. I thought in this economy, it would be fairly easy to get the work done well in a timely manner. Unfortunately, most of the men who have played a hand in the rehab project have proved themselves incompetent. They need a keeper. Instead of being homeowner/customer, I’m also the general contractor, mother/supplier-of-things, and check-er-up-er-on-things-that-were-supposed-to-be-accomplished-in-an-efficient-and-quality-manner.
Work is intense. I need to hold on tight to my Half-Full attitude…as it’s such a negative environment it’s difficult to fight sometimes. I dont’ want to be 32 and bitter and angry and irritated in my job and the work environment… I want to be 32 and happy and outgoing and thrilled at the opportunities my job sets at my feet.
I stepped out of my comfort zone, and was encouaged this week: went to a group for single women at the church… its focus is ‘intimacy’ which includes intimacy with G-D, intimacy with friends/familiy, and intimacy with the opposite sex. So far, it was validating, in a way, to hear about other women’s struggles with similar issues… the first meeting was all about introductions and making short & long-term plans/goals. Hopefully there will be some fruit evident in my life as this little excurion continues… whether it’s tilling the cold hard soil, planting seeds, watering a little plant, pruning, or even celebrating with a fresh piece of fruit on a hot summer’s day. Who knows? it’s a journey.
Realized a few days ago that I’ve been participating in more verbal banter, that things look a bit brighter and slightly more optimistic… and that I’ve been singing more (in the car/shower/by myself). During work today, I met with a new student, we had a fantastic therapy session, and I found it both energizing and fun. Which helped me realize that the heavy cloud, from under which I’ve been operating over the past few months, has lifted. I’m lighter, my head isn’t fuzzy, and I’m starting to feel a bit more creative… lesson planning is not incredibly difficult nor emotionally draining… boundaries are easier to identify and keep, and…well… I’m more present. I realized, too, that traditionally simple tasks were daunting… and now I don’t even notice doing them. It’s validating to know that even if I made a poor choice about who to spend time with in the past, after I rid that person from my life, I’m able to come back a bit wiser and mostly unscathed. I’m enjoying breathing deeply with a lighter head and a freer spirit…and, well, just wanted to share the light news.
take care of you.
a friend mentioned that blogging in a community is like spending time with friends in an outdoor cafe… (i’m paraphrasing here) … people interact and become acquainted… just hanging out… it’s very nice, i agree :)
the interesting thing is, although i have a lot of catching up and ‘becoming acquainted’ to do in this new culture… i feel like i’m a day behind. we’re on different time tables… literally. i’m still wrapping up today, and at this very moment some of you are starting an early tomorrow… well, it’s your today, but my tomorrow right now.
hello out there! i’m from the other side of the big atlantic puddle… and am very happy to be here. things are going well for me at this very moment… it took a few days to decide on my ‘username’ for the wibsite address… finally chose “rain” for a variety of reasons, and then today – viola! this rain background was availible… it just seems right…almost like i’m home :)
today is sunday, and i went to church today… i’ve been going to this particular church on/off for the past three years (long story)… it’s a place i keep coming back to…been trying a variety of other churches… i’m finally listening to myself, and just sent today’s church an email message inquiring about the new membership class – need to jump in with both feet and go for it. i’ll find out more about them/their philosophy and belief systems… see if it works for me, and i’ll also meet some people in the process… taking a step forward. i’ve been taking a lot of steps recently… it can be exhausting! but the end result… pushing forward, moving forward, building forward – always a blessing. and a learning experience…
not sure exactly what this blog will morph into, but i know i need to be part of a community… need to reach out to others… need to be heard…need to listen… i’ve been taking lots of steps – expanding my social network (for a time it’s been quite small – on purpose), getting truly involved in a church community (e.g., seeking membership – to really be part of it), taking some acquaintences to the next level (hey, wanna go grab a bite to eat?), and focusing on the other steps… hopefully i can gain some understanding and insight through this process… that’s the point of a blog, right? for a long time i had an image of ‘someone who blogs’ in my head, and now that i found that i, personally, needed to be part of an online community, my ideas have changed. see, i just bought a new house, am in the process of selling my old one… have been spending too much time looking for a special someone… just started the new school year (i work with young children)…just finished taking 9 graduate credits this past summer, worked part time, and moved in a period of 8 weeks… i need other people right now…
i’m also exhausted – it’s time for a vacation…one of my dear friends (hello friend!) and i talked about the differences between America and the UK regarding personal time vs. work… the differences in value judgments… vacation days…and i decided to push myself so hard this summer so that I could take myself off the ‘hot stove’ after the summer was over… I’m just glad the school year started – so at least it’s all accomplished and i can take a break… now it’s time for my normal life :)
thanks for reading to the end. i’ll get the hang of this blog-thing… some experimentation is in the immediate future… that’s how we learn, right? I hope you have a good day… tomorrow is a national holiday, so i’m looking forward to having a day to myself… hopefully it will be both productive and restful :)