Tag Archives: dating

conversations with coworker

was talking with a coworker yesterday… during some down-time between clients… talking about friendships, significant others, and how to get our emotional needs met…

I mentioned that, a long time ago, my mother told me i was very hard on my friends.

…my coworker said she could see that.

but what does that mean?

do i have high expectations? if someone doesnt’ meet my expectations do i throw them out with the trash?

i’m not part of a “group of people”… not sure why. although, my city is very difficult to break into socially. there are many people who would consider themselves in my inner circle… but they may not know there’s another inner circle…(and people in that inner-inner circle, whom i feel comfortable with and who know many parts of me, may not realize they’re in that inner-inner circle)
i feel as though no one really knows me – perhaps that has to do with moving around a lot growing up? being independent, self-sufficient…? but i don’t consider those bad things… who knows.

I have had enough experience to know that if someone doens’t have anything to give me, then i need not spend precious emotional energy on that person. for example, although she’s my sister, she doens’t make me feel good, she’s often mean (and sometimes she’s not, which is confusing), but i don’t beat down her door begging her to spend time with me because often I don’t feel good around her… am on the defense.. always protecting myself..

so i’ve been living in this current city for over six years. and i have met people, and have girlfriends… we schedule get-togethers 2 or 3 weeks in advance… they’re on my calendar. but… where’s the “right now” friend? what if i need someone right now?

I wonder if that where romance and a significant other comes in? am i at the point in my life where most people have a significant other, and i’m the minority, which is why many of my friendships are not fulfilling that need… because they’re not designed to…?

my coworker said all of her friends meet different needs… that each one of them brings out something different in who she is, in her own personality… and that it’s too much to expect one friend to meet all of those needs.

intellectually, i agree.

but, at the same time, i’m wanting to be fully known by one person… known and accepted. loved, too. and perhaps i’m asking too much of my friends – i get easily disappointed… i think i am a good friend (except when i forget birthdays, but i do give to them in other ways)

so perhaps i’m missing what i don’t have? is that possible…? probably.

Thoughts on being a princess

an old friend brought her 16 month old baby to my house for a visit this evening… between dinner and bedtime (so it was a short visit)… but we had some tea (in my hand-made mugs) and I baked some delicious brownies (fudge-like w/ extra chocolate) served w/ coffee ice cream…. what a treat!

…in college I received three (3!) marriage proposals when I made a butterscotch cake for a friend’s birthday party… perhaps I should volunteer to bake for a similar occasion in the future :)

Work is relatively stressful at the moment… I feel like the further I go, the behind-er I get. There’s so much to do for my students … and with my current caseload demands, it’s very difficult to address every need on a weekly basis, let alone tackle the bigger projects. I need to make a master list – yes! that’s it… I’ll make a master list of what I want to address with specific students, and take it from there. I’ll try to remember that tomorrow – sometimes my moments of clarity get clouded in all of the mind juggling currently going on…

Oh, this is funny – there’s a guy I’ve been communicating with… not many sparks (but he was a bit cuter the 2nd time we met)… we had a private joke about me being a princess… started with the 4-post bed I put together (long, complicated story for another day)… ’cause, you know, princesses sleep in high 4-post beds with a canopy…. anyway, this is how I responded to him… he hasn’t written back yet – Can’t decide if he:
A) thinks I’m incredibly charming and is taking time to write a creative email response… OR
B) I’ve totally weireded him out and he has removed me from his ‘friends’ list

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[excerpt correspondence between Rain and her male-pen-pal-person – MPPP for short]

HE SAYS: hopefully you sell [your condo] soon and can buy a canopy…

SHE RESPONDS: you know, I’ve been thinking…about what to do once I get my canopy… shall I kiss a frog? Perhaps fall into a deep sleep… or maybe I’ll go live with seven short men who work in mines… Putting a pea underneath the mattress isn’t necessary (it’s already well known that I bruise easily)… and, anyway, vegetables belong on a plate, not in bed. …Perhaps I’ll ask a pumpkin to take me to a grand party (wearing two glass slippers – me, not the pumpkin). Actually… I think I’ll wait and kiss Prince Charming. That’s what the storybooks usually say…happy ending and all.
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I could have responded in a very nice, normal way… but I decided to respond in a Rainy way… wanted to find out if he can go with the flow… it’s very important that a man be able to play with me – verbal banter and intelligent talk are a must… I wonder what will he do…?

…I’d be interested in your comments… How do you think he will respond? :) I’ll keep you posted – check the comments section in a few days… unless, of course, it was truly option #B above :) …which would actually be a blessing – I’d know he isn’t able to play. Perhaps he’ll surprise me…

Anyway, have a good day tomorrow!! I’m looking forward to some rainy weather :)

mental health day

i’ve decided that i will be sick tomorrow. i’m a bit stressed and/or overwhelmed … need to take some time for me. need to figure a few things out… and work on some stuff… and not explode (that can get messy). i give 110% in my job, and at the moment i’m operating on approx 23%… you do the math. tomorrow is about refueling. i’m deplete.

HEY MEN – is it a good sign if… i lent a book to a guy, needed it back (fyi: we decided to take dating off the table before meeting for the first time …a few weeks ago) …anyway, is it a good sign if we met in a parking lot to exchange the book, and it’s apparent he changed his shirt and put on cologne or aftershave lotion? or am i just being a girl and reading too much into it? i wonder if he’s trying to impress me? or perhaps he was just trying to cover the ode-de-bachelorhood… (this happened about 11pm my time). he was cuter this time around…(2nd in-person experience) and it wasn’t’ the shirt/scent combo. perhaps the situation was more real…less choreographed. who knows.

hope you’re all doing well. thanks for reading, and for your comments. they truly brighten my day… or make me think. sometimes both. thanks for making me feel so welcome.